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We did a little reflecting on our life abroad and realized that there are definitely some American habits we lost after moving to Thailand. From being more low key and flexible to not taking life so seriously, we’ve thought back to how Thai culture has rubbed off on us, and you know what, it hasn’t been a bad thing!
01 Â Having High Restaurant Service Expectations
We’ve both worked in restaurants when we were younger, so that’s definitely contributed to our forgiving attitude when we eat out and treating waitstaff with respect and patience. In Thailand, our patience has grown even more because we no longer expect the attentive service like we had growing up in America.
Service? Yes. But good service? No.
We’ve learned that:
- Food arrives at the table when it’s finished being made in the kitchen. That means there is really no timing difference between an appetizer and an entrée. And sometimes people may be taking the last bites of their meals while others are just getting theirs.
- We don’t expect our servers to tend to our table after our food is delivered. If an order isn’t right, if we’re missing a side or condiment, or if we need a refill, we catch our server’s eye and call them over. The check is only delivered when we ask for it or if the place is closing.
- Special requests to the menu are acknowledged but are either completely ignored (even though our server is nodding their head and say they understand us) or it comes out wrong. Once we ordered a cheeseburger but the menu only offered hamburgers. What we got was a bun with a slice of cheese without a burger – no joke!
And you know what? We’ve learned that it’s not a big deal!Â
02 Â Relying on Big Brother Warnings to Keep Us Safe
Caution: Wet Floor signs in clear view after someone mopped the tiled entrance of a hotel? Nope.
Guard rails on steep trails, foot paths, or overhangs on cliffs? Not really.
Red tape or warning signs around crumbling sidewalks or two foot wide uncovered man holes? Nada.
We do admit seeing a Caution: Hard Hat Area sign where construction was being performed. Yeah, several times, actually.
At first we were startled to see such lack of warning signs in Thailand. But the longer we lived here, the more refreshing it was. One can argue that Thai citizens and foreigners are expected to take responsibility for their own actions.
To this day, no one we know has gotten hurt by their own lack of awareness and tried suing a company or property where the accident happened.Â
03 Â Depending on a Car and All the Road Rules
Owning a motorbike and using it as the main vehicle seems to be pretty common in Thailand but oh-not-so-much in the USA. We jumped on that bandwagon and traded in our car for a motorbike since the weather is motorcycle friendly year round and we don’t have to drive hundreds of miles a week anymore. We also walk more and use public transportation such as trains, buses, and songthaews that are plentiful in many Thai towns.
Yes, we’ve given up car-related luxuries like being able to listen to the radio, cool off with air conditioning, protect ourselves from the rain and sun, style our hair without fear of it matting from a helmet, and having plenty of trunk space for groceries.
On the flip side, we think it’s pretty great keeping our expenses down (we could afford to buy our bike in cash and now spend less than 1,000 baht per month on gas), we love being able to zip through long lines of traffic, plus park wherever we want.
As far as road rules, we’re still safety nuts and wear our helmet when riding around on our motorbike. We also carry with us our Thai driver licenses and motorbike registration/green book if we’re pulled over.
But beyond that, we’ve learned to drive like the locals do. Strictly abiding by road rules is definitely one of those American habits we lost after moving to Thailand. Sometimes it’s actually safer to break conventional road rules and just go with the flow of traffic.
04 Â Wearing Shoes Indoors
In Thailand we wear our shoes in most buildings, but we always remove our shoes when entering someone’s house and leave them at the entrance. Always.Â
In fact, our shoe purchases are based around whether they are easy to slide on and off. Buh-bye laces!
Now a days we have an inner battle when someone says “Oh, it’s ok if you leave your shoes on” and they proceed to walk into their house wearing shoes. Gah!
We just can’t do it and default to taking off our shoes. In fact, if there’s carpet, we’re downright squeamish at the idea of wearing shoes inside because of how filthy the soles are.
05 Â Being Carefree in the Sun
In America, golden bronzed skin is often seen as the symbol of having leisure time and vacation money. In Thailand, untanned skin is preferred. Combined with the fact that we’re just about to hit our 30’s and can see evidence of fine lines, we’re more conscious of sun exposure.
Often we wear sunblock or make it a point to stand in the shade. Sometimes we wear long sleeves or light jackets in the blazing sun so we don’t burn, even if it’s over 100 degrees. Angela goes nowhere without her umbrella. What we used to think was silly when people walked around under an umbrella on a non-rainy day, we now think is very practical. We prefer that small circle of shade to the burning Thai sun.
We don’t go as far as slathering on whitening lotion on our skin, though, which is all too common in Thailand.
06 Â Living a Fast Paced Life
Life has slowed down a lot in Thailand! We were both type A personalities back in the US with a go-go-go mentality but now we have much more laid back attitudes. It’s because we have a flexible schedule and the Thai mai bpen rai attitude has rubbed off on us a bit, too.
With an open schedule, we aren’t pressured to do anything. This means leisurely taking care of adult responsibilities and errands, but it also means we don’t feel the need fill our weekends full of activities, either.
We welcome our time to relax, too. Before, Angela thought that an hour and a half of yoga class was boring and a waste of time. She’d prefer 30 minutes of intense cardio or weightlifting instead. There was no room in her schedule to indulge in relaxing. Now she looks forwards to a mentally and physically relaxing yoga session and feels great afterwards.
07 Â Being On Time
About that…
We are no longer punctual and don’t expect others to be on time either. Meeting friends for coffee or lunch? Even if we arrive 15 minutes late and our friends aren’t there, we don’t stress about it just wait patiently until they arrive. It used to be we would get a slew of texts or calls if we were two minutes late. Now we’re on Thai time.
And what if we’re going to a café or restaurant that advertises its opening time at 8:30 am, but it’s 9:00 am and the lights are still off? While we might be a bit irritated because we can’t get our morning caffeine fix, we would simply try again on another day at a later time. In America, the attitude would be more along the lines of: “How dare the store not open on time. That’s unprofessional. We won’t be coming here again.”
There are times where it is important to be on time in Thailand, such as catching the bus or a flight, because those still leave on schedule. We can’t get too lax!
08 Â Paying with Credit Cards
Thailand is a cash-based society. So aside from whipping out credit cards to make a rare purchase at a major grocery store or mall, we had to get comfortable with handling paper money and coins.
That meant recognizing the new currency (and heaven forbid not handing over a 1,000 baht bill instead of a 100 baht bill), picking through coins in our wallet while people queued up behind us, and correctly doing mental math, typically in Thai, in our head for the correct amount or change.
It also meant planning ahead for an evening out or other expenditures and asking ourselves, “Do we have enough cash on us or do we need to swing by the ATM? Do we have enough money at all, or do we need to wait until next week when we have more funds?”
After paying off all of our debt before moving to Thailand and then adjusting to a pay-as-you-go lifestyle, we prefer this because it helps us stay debt free. It sure beats spending beyond our means and racking up credit card debt.
09 Â Needlessly Spending Money
We have better control over our spending habits. Without the constant bombardment of commercials (none here on our English channels or on Netflix), magazine advertisements, or radio commercials (we can’t listen to any on our motorcycle), we don’t feel the urge to buy the latest gadget or service.
We’ve also scaled way back on impulse buying. It used to be that we’d buy a bottle of wine or six pack of microbrew on our commute home. Or a few plants for our deck during an afternoon shopping spree. Or a 55 inch flat screen TV. You know, just ‘cuz. This is one of those American habits we lost after moving to Thailand and don’t regret it one bit.
Most of all, after spending over six months selling our belongings and whittling everything down to two checked bags and a carry-on each before moving to Thailand, we still have a lingering fear of collecting too much junk and having to do it all over again. Before we buy anything, we usually ask ourselves if we would feel like selling it later? The answer is almost always “No.”Â
10 Â Relying on Modern Day Appliances for Domestic Chores
We don’t own a dishwasher, a garbage disposal, a clothes dryer, or an onsite water filter. We also don’t have all of those fancy dancy kitchen appliances that are in most American households.
We hand wash our dishes and are careful to keep the sink strainer in place so food bits don’t clog the pipes. It’s not as convenient, but at least we’re thankful that the kitchen is inside our house since that is not often the case in traditional Thai houses and even some apartments.
We line dry our clothes because we don’t have a clothes dryer. And while we prefer the smell of sun dried laundry, we’ve learned that clothes fade faster if left out in the direct sun and they definitely stretch out without the high heat of a dryer to shrink them back into shape. You should see the size of some of our ankle socks! We also have to schedule our laundry around the weather and can’t do it on rainy or cool days or else we have to bring the drying rack inside and point our floor fan on it.
One thing that’s tedious is planning ahead making sure there’s enough drinking water in the morning after a night out or enough cooking water after we’ve settled in for the evening and want to cook rice or pasta.
And as far as kitchen appliances like toasters, blenders, coffee makers, or food processors, we don’t have any of these. Since we have no idea how long we will be living in Thailand or even how long we’ll be in the same house or apartment, we rather not have to deal with boxing them up and shipping them every time we move. Toast is overrated and we use a small French press, anyways.
We Don’t Regret the American Habits We Lost After Moving to Thailand
So some of our habits reflect some sacrifice on our part, but mostly we think our experiences have been positive and character building. We think the biggest change we’ve seen in ourselves is being more patient and allowing ourselves to relax. No matter where you are from in the world, we think everyone could use a little more patience and relaxation in their lives, don’t you think so?
PIN IT FOR LATER!
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I’ve been living in China for about 15 years. I came from the States like you two. Zhuhai is very much like Chiang Mai, only I like to think with better infrastructure. It’s better for me personally here. I think that the freedom to drink a beer with your dog, in a restaurant is freedom. You know, Americans live in a “echo chamber”. All you hear is how great America is and how every other nation should be exactly like the USA. I disagree. In fact, I dare say, you two might as well. I however don’t ride a scooter.… Read more »
We’ve been back to the US every year. This year is our fifth time back! You’re right about nothing changing :) If anything, we’ve changed – our outlook on life, our pace of life, and our taste buds! Our favorite restaurants and American snacks don’t taste how we remember them… Thanks for commenting!
I am thinking about moving to thailand soon.
One of my biggest concern is bringing my dog. I can’t move anyplace that I will have a problem with her. You mentioned your dog. Did you bring it with you or get one there. I am bringing mine.
this is nice :)
I live in China now, and this post could very well have been written about where I live. Probably similar in a lot of Asian countries, actually. When I got here, I spent two months in Hong Kong because it’s a lot easier for an American to go there, but even in a cosmopolitan city like Hong Kong, it had its oddities. Sitting down at a restaurant table and suddenly strangers come sit next to you because, well, there’s an open seat. Not having a dishwasher, clothes dryer, or OVEN. The “squatty potties” – I’ll never like them, but I… Read more »
Sounds like you’ve already had a dose of Asian quirks – you’re right, Thailand won’t be so shocking after Indonesia and China. Although we’ve not been to Hong Kong or Singapore, from what we know, we agree with you that those are two good spots to visit to help transition into life in Asia. Thanks for sharing!
So funny! I’ve been to Thailand a few times and yes, the best way to enjoy the country is just to relax, go with the flow and not worry too much.
I live in Germany where being a minute late is a sin so taking my German husband and half British/ half German son to Thailand was a challenge. There was a lot of skin touching and hugging as the locals thought my son might be Thai!
Both husband and son survived and loved Thailand very much.
It doesn’t take long to warm up to Thailand :) We’re glad to hear your family loved their trip and even got the hang of taking easy and relaxing. Come back again soon!
Maybe we shouldn’t have so many warning signs in the States. Look what happened to the dumb Texas guy, around the 4th of July. He got into the water, although he saw a sign warning about alligators in the water. He said “f… the alligators” and got eaten for lunch within minutes. Girlfriend made it out alive.
One word: Darwinism
Very good post.
I’ve been here for a few years….I like to keep it simple, when ordering. I’ve taken friends to some of my favorite places that I’ve been to 50 times, and some will make a special request, that is mostly unnecessary…and it really can shake them up. I refuse to do the ice in beer, and would rather just do water….Do you all put ice in your beer? They’ve had refrigeration here for 80 years, so I really don’t consider a cold one, a special request.
Yes, keeping it simple is the way to go. We’ve learned to drink ice in our beer because the heat warms it up to a temperature that we find unpalatable if we don’t drink it fast enough. Still, no complaints!
As far as “everyone could use a little more patience and relaxation in their lives”, I believe you are correct. Fast paced, gotta have it, gotta have it now attitudes are bad for the heart and your mind. SLOW DOWN people! In Indonesia they call it “rubber time”. Take a lesson folks.
Common sense on the other hand… is not so common. We are treated like children in the USA, so when we go to countries who don’t subscribe to mollycoddling, we have to adjust for the better. It’s good for us to keep things sharp, you know?
It’s hard to let go when everyone and everything around you is so tense and fast paced. But being in Thailand, that go-with-the-flow environment (and access to lots of massages!) can help to slow you down. It’s so much healthier!
As far as common sense, we agree it’s not so common :/
I loved reading this! I’ve noticed many of the same things since I moved to Jakarta. Not that I was ever the type of person to buy the all latest new gadgets when I was living in California, but I now realize how few things I really need to buy. I lived without so much in Jakarta and got by perfectly fine. I’m actually back in the US for a visit right now and it’s a bit of a shock to see how much stuff people have. I’ve definitely changed when it comes to accumulating non-essentials. I had to laugh… Read more »
Oh my goodness we get the same overwhelming feeling when we see how much stuff some people have! It’s crazy how having a lot of “filler” stuff was once the norm but now it’s possible to comfortably live off of so much less. We have resisted the urge to organize and purge. Haha, is that bad?
Agreed on the above post. Seriously, how do we survive in a place that doesn’t tell us to be aware and cautious of our surroundings??!! Hahahahahha!!! Oh yeah, we just look and listen and use our brains to take care of ourselves! How nice is that!? LOL I love it!
Hahah, glad you agree! Darwinism at its best.
#1 and #8 are probably my two biggest complaints of most countries. As a spoiled American I want my order right, period. I can go with the flow and get it fixed if need be but knowing what you want and not getting it is like meh disappointment. (sounding all pretentious right now haha) #8 is also weird, I like the flexibility of card but can definitely see that expat status lends itself to going with the flow and using cash. After a recent trip to Hong Kong I felt that cash really was king for all the mom and… Read more »
We’ve luckily scouted out some restaurants with Western owners who do train their staff to be more attentive and are better at honoring requests. Everywhere else is go with the flow, but yes, deep down inside sometimes we miss a fancy meal out with a well executed order and service and can be one area of disappointment.
And although we are now comfortable paying in cash, it would be nice to have the option at least to use a credit card, right?
Great list! I feel like those things apply to me as well — as an expat in Greece.
Maybe us Americans are just really different from everyone else. Love that you blog about Greece like we do about Thailand :)
I loved reading this bc it resonated with me so much. The shoe thing especially. I had a friend who put her son’s shoes on the dining room table as she was packing up to go out. I physically cringed. Thanks for putting it so succinctly.
We have seen shoes on tables before and we felt the same way! Aaahhkkk! It’s crazy how it didn’t bother us before (well, a little) but now, yes, totally cringeworthy.
Sometimes we need to be reminded of things that makes us uncomfortable, we are then reminded to humble ourselves again. :)
Well said!
Nice post, well written!
I don’t think anyone expects you to have the green book on you when you drive your motorcycle, better to carry a photocopy of the relevant pages, otherwise you’re making it very easy for thieves (unless you carry the green book always on your person — still it’s safer to store it somewhere safe).
I don’t see a big problem with having a water filter. They come under a 1000 baht, and it solves your planning problems for drinking water — recommended!
We like your idea of keeping a photocopy of the green book. Better than it getting stolen!
HomePro has really expensive water filters (triple filter, installed under your sink) for several thousand baht, but maybe we’ve simply overlooked the 1,000 baht ones. We’ve talked about having water delivered to our house in those glass jars but haven’t made the phone call yet. Luckily our water filter is a minute drive down the street.
Very cool…and super true for Belize also! Especially the time (or lack of timeliness) and the restaurant expectations…the sun…and…pretty much all of it. I’m glad I just discovered your blog!
We’ve considered living in Belize. That’s funny to hear about the similarities. Maybe it’s America that’s really different from everywhere else!
Another great, well written article. I read most of it out loud to my wife and we both had more than one good laugh. Thanks for writing and sharing your insights. You two are very perceptive, and I think you’ve mastered the art of communicating in a way where nobody “loses face.” I think maybe that’s what makes your writing so great – you have such a nuanced understanding of Thai culture and are able to communicate it to the world eloquently and succinctly. Thanks – I’ll be looking forward to your next story in my inbox. Cheers!
Well thank you, Chris, on your observation on our writing style! We do make it a point to write delicately regarding some situations and definitely like to steer towards the positive side. Your comment is greatly appreciated :)
Great article! I love the part about taking responsibility for yourselves without signs and warnings everywhere. I noted the same thing in Ecuador.
Thank you :) On our most recent visit to the states, we see those warnings and think “Well yeah, DUH don’t go swimming in the raging waterfalls/smoke while you are pumping gas/inhale paint thinner, etc”.
I’ll get back to you on that after my nap.
Haha! Regular naps are in there, too.